Can you love the problems that come with living intentionally? (Because ‘the mess’ doesn’t go away.)
Part 2 of a 3 part series on Living Intentionally
*I highly recommend reading this to music by August Wilhelmsson (song: Dreams of Another Reality)
…and really anything by this artist is mesmerizing.
You’ve made a decision. And not just any decision, but a decision that came from some deep, soul level, truth seeking inquiry…
…From giving yourself S P A C E to feel all the feels that come with taking risk.
Not life threatening risk…life giving risk.
The soul is daring and says, “go.” The mind is dramatic and says, “but then you’ll be alone…forever.”
The soul is daring and says, “no more, not like this, this is not the life you were meant to live.” The mind is dramatic and says, “but then you won’t have security…and your whole life will fall apart.”
The soul is daring and says, “make, build, create that idea you have been longing to share with the world.” The mind is dramatic and says, “but what if you get it wrong, look like a fool…and then no-one will like you.”
We make a decision in honor of solving one problem, that one that took so much courage to face, to only find…more problems to arise. We then worry, "did I make the right choice? because here I am, still with problems."
And that, is the sweet-tender-truth we all eventually discover as we create our life with more and more intention. We discover…the ‘mess’ doesn’t go away.
When we see this, really see this…we wonder why we stayed attached to that original problem for so long. Was it because it was familiar? A struggle, yes, but a struggle we knew we could survive, because that’s what we have been doing for so long…surviving it.
Surviving another relationship that even when we are with them - we feel alone.
Surviving the career that leaves us half empty - every. single. day.
Surviving another lost dream because no one ever told us - you are bigger, better than you know.
We stay…we have problems. We move on…we have problems.
Either way, there’s a mess we must lean into.
Which mess will we choose?
The one that creates an illusion of safety, because we know we can ‘survive it.’ Or do we choose the mess that is here to teach us our truth, to discover our way, and to bring our full self to the world.
If life is going to be messy no matter the decisions we make, why not choose the marvelous mess…the mess that calls to you, scares you, feels like it actually belongs to you.
The goal is not to rid our life of problems or to delude ourself of their existence.
The goal is to live more intentionally, to ponder possibility, to question what we think we know, to catch ourself when we are trapped in a very limited idea of what our life is going to be about, and to open ourself to evolve in the direction that is most aligned with who we really want to be in this world.
A lesson I have learned many times over is this…
If we can not love the challenges that come with our choices, we set ourself up for a life of perpetual complaining, criticizing, and condemning. A life that feels like it’s always one step behind. A life that feels incomplete and divided within ourself. And if we don'‘t love the challenges that come with our choices, can we be courageous enough to pivot?
Do you love the kind of problems you have in your intimate relationship? Do the challenges you face give you and your partner an opportunity to grow in ways that enhance your character and deepen your intimacy with yourself, with each other, with life? That’s some deep work. Can you be with it?
Do you love the kind of problems that inherently come along with your work in the world and with your industry? Do you embrace the challenges that arise from the goals you set - and the kind of hustle you’ll have to take on, to create what you want most? That’s some hard work. Can you own it?
Do you love the kind of problems that your big, beautiful idea is stirring up in your head and your heart. Do you honor the challenges as part of your path, your calling - even when you doubt yourself. And maybe because you doubt yourself. That is some devotional work. Can you honor it?
Because problems will still exist, even when we choose our path with more intention. Life does not become seamless, we do not become unicorns, the “mess” does not go away.
When we’re intentional about our decisions, perspective will begin to shift. Obstacles start to appear as opportunities, failures give us important feedback, and entering new terrain becomes an experiment. We likely still stress out and worry at times (we’re human), but there is levity lingering in its nature. A trusting that roots us. And a life pulsating through us…that is worth the problems ahead for us to solve.
So here is your assignment: Journal on one area of life you are struggling with. Be sure it’s something you have chosen - a relationship you’re in, a career you have, a calling you stepped into. Ask yourself, do I love the problems I have from this choice? Are they growing me in the ways I want to grow at this time of my life? Do the challenges feel like they are mine? If not, it may be time to re-navigate and to do so, with more depth, more meaning, and more wholehearted courage.
We will have problems no matter what choices we make in life. Living intentionally is making choices, where we can, that have problems we actually want to solve.
In that decision you are alive, you are full. You are a changemaker.
{This is PART TWO of a series on living intentionally - to read part one GO HERE}
PS. A world of creation has been going on over in my little universe. What’s to come? A life design journal + companion planner to be published alongside The Changemakers Collective - a virtual 4 week life design + soulful planning experience to create your year ahead with purpose, presence, and peace of mind. More details will be headed your way soon!
Which mess will we choose? The one that creates an illusion of safety, because we know we can ‘survive it.’ Or do we choose the mess that is here to teach us our truth, to discover our way, and to bring our full self to the world.
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To choosing the marvelous mess...together,
