2019 was bravely tender. 2020 will be boundless ( join me?)
2019 was a tender, heart-breaking, and exquisitely beautiful year for me. I will say farewell to it with both gratitude for the lessons I’ve learned and a deep readiness (and steadiness) to move forward with those gifts, in service.
It was my year of ‘BRAVE’ and with that came a lot of self-discovery work, while simultaneously rooting down into a new state and nurturing the delicate, messy terrain of leaving a long-term relationship…and choosing me.
In honor of my theme for 2019, I made choices that asked me to embrace destruction, to slow down, and to turn inward. Choices that challenged me to become deeply intimate…with myself.
I left a relationship I had been in for almost 5 years that was good, the man I was with is good. And also, I knew (we knew) deep in our hearts that we were no longer good for each other. The fact that we had moved to a new state together just a few months earlier didn’t make this decision any easier, yet life was calling both of us in different directions. The more we tried to fit into each other's molds, the more our love was becoming strained within the pressure of discontentment. It was simply time…to bravely move on.
I started training improv. I’ve always loved and infused improv games into my retreats because it’s a truly masterful way to teach confidence, presence, and trust. It gives the player a direct (and exhilarating) experience of mindfulness; however, I had never done intensive training in it. That changed this year and by June, I had performed my first 30-minute show with my beloved and brave group, Smash Baby Smash.
I wrote a book proposal. 3 months and 52 pages later I was starring at what felt like a piece of my soul. I loved it and judged it. I didn’t care what others thought of it, and also I felt protective of it. I submitted it into a contest to win a book deal - I didn’t win. And yet, I feel like I did…because I wrote a freakin’ book proposal! I’ve coached clients who were in the process of writing their PhD dissertations. I can honestly say now, I get why they would say it’s one of the hardest things they’ve had to do. I’ve essentially done it. I took a decade of my life’s work and narrowed it down to a very specified, formulaic 52-page process called a book proposal. Book proposal writing is not for the faint of heart…it’s for brave hearts.
On my 40th birthday, I invited 8 women to join me for a weekend of ceremony and glamping (fancy camping). During that weekend each of us would be diving into the sacred ritual of…marrying ourselves. And we did. I married myself in front of 8 witnesses, reading to them the vows I wrote to my soul (I’ll be sharing those with you and the world soon). It took me 2 months to write them, but truly a lifetime to get to a place within myself where I can say I’m honestly ready to honor those vows. Self-love is often a long and winding road that many of us never truly journey through. I am grateful to say I braved that road and continue on.
I began working with a somatic psychotherapist and sex coach after some deep self-discovery work opened me to some trauma that was manifesting, again and again, in my relationships (and myself) as rejection. Exploring our body, our psyche, our capacity for intimacy with others and ourselves is a deep reservoir of both pain and pleasure. Truthfully, most of us are not nearly touching the possibility of our pleasure (and I’m not just talking about sexually) because we don’t dare to lean fully into our pain. Yet, (and I say this with so much love) that is required, as pain and pleasure are intimately weaved together (even science would agree with me here). So I honor any of you who know what I speak of here and dare to bravely enter the wildness of your whole self.
And now, as I prepare for 2020, I am diving into my personal rallying cry, my vision, my magic, and my soul-fueled aspirations for what will undoubtedly be an auspicious year.
What I have taken away from 2019 is this…
Life is yours. It is your poetry, it is your music, it is your greatest masterpiece. The rough edges belong in your story as much as the flow. And when you truly embrace the wildness of your whole self, the mess and the majesty,
...you become boundless.
Whether you’ve been here in this community of ambitious creatives, wisdom seekers, and self-mastery explorers for a long time or a short while…I am so very grateful for you! You keep me brave and I hope I do the same for you.
As part of my community, you’re the first to hear from my heart and about my new creations. With that being said, before it’s fully formed I am introducing to you an idea I have…
A 6-week life design experience and project incubator for 20 ambitious, heart-centered creatives who are devoted to designing, planning, and creating a boundless life.
My vision for this program is to create an intimate and supportive community where your GREATNESS finally becomes safe to fully step into. A place for getting clear and designing a life of depth, meaning, and playfulness. I see it feeling like a group of super-powered magic weaving best friends getting together weekly (virtually, and for 6 weeks to 3 months) to dive into an introspective journey through your shadow mixed with soul-centered goal setting, confidence-boosting group coaching deep dives, and lots of visionary exploration for aligning with your truest self and your work in the world.
I see this being a space for those who thrive best at the crossroads of ambition, play, and soul. Your essence is like a monk, poet, and artist all weaved into one and you’re ready to not just make a life…but to make art out of your life. And let’s not forget - you love, love, love doing this with other like-minded creators who are also ready to be loosened of limits and imaginary lines in 2020.
To stay tuned about Boundless: 2020…join my ‘insiders’ list to be the first to know about new offerings and have first access to registration. Plus, for joining you’ll get a few cool gifts!
Join HERE
To bringing our full selves to the world…together,
